I remember my single years and how excited I was at the thought of getting married that I forgot to enjoy my singleness. Majority of the friends I had back then had some experiences of being in a relationship. It seemed the expectation was that by the time you get to university, you should not only have dating experiences but sexual ones too!
I had always wanted to only date the person I will marry, so my views were “odd” to many people and I was the butt of many jokes. My first relationship wasn’t until towards the end of my first year of University, which didn’t work out. I also remember how innocent and naïve I was at this thing called “dating”.
The unnecessary pressure I put on myself meant that I didn’t really focus on being single because I didn’t understand it. Most of us were taught to go to school, get a job, get married, have kids and continue our existence but no one tells you about what to do whilst single.
So, spend more time in God’s presence and desire His voice. Explore this big world that God has blessed us with. Put more effort into understanding your purpose and do more to fulfil it. Make more friends that are vision focused. Learn to say no and value your time. Be careful what you hear and work on being a better version of yourself.
Singleness in our world today somehow always translates to loneliness and the older you get, the more the pressure to be with someone becomes. All around us are expected to fit into a mould that society deems acceptable and if you are not doing so, you are considered weird. We have made being in a relationship like a form of validation or badge of honour that proves we are desirable by the opposite sex.
Enjoy Being Single!
Being single is not a bad thing at all, it’s the time when you can devote all of yourself to the things of God without being duty bound to a spouse/kids. It’s a time to discover more about yourself and the amazing gifts God has given to you. I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. (1 Corinthians 7:32 NLT) Adam was single, not lonely before Eve came along; he was busy doing what God created him for.
If I had to redo my single days again or if I could tell my younger single self some things, it would be to enjoy my singleness. So, spend more time in God’s presence and desire His voice. Explore this big world that God has blessed us with. Put more effort into understanding your purpose and do more to fulfil it. Make more friends that are vision focused. Learn to say no and value your time. Be careful what you hear and work on being a better version of yourself.
Young people, it’s wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do. (Ecclesiastes 11:9) The bible encourages you to have fun in your single days. However, it also reminds you that no matter what you do or how you do it, you will answer to God for every action. Control your desires because the commandment to abstain from sex outside married also applies to you.
Whatever you do, don’t get caught up at the extreme end of this – to convince yourself that everything will happen at the time you want. Live your single life in such a way that if you do intend to move from single and searching to getting married (it is not a must), that you are conscious of time.
There is time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). Don’t allow the enjoyment of your singleness to cloud your judgement about timing. This is especially crucial if you are a woman and intend to have kids.
This is your time, enjoy it. Honour the Lord with everything you have, trust in Him to lead you and with God, all things work together for your good.